INT – Room, Morning.

Pushing the words in an ever-open-envelope, influenced and kissed by this sudden need to dispense.  As I was looking outside, the morning was about to break. With my arms hanging loose while the window was carrying the weight of my body, my senses were ready like a child from a storybook waiting for that summer inspiration to pass by hitching.  I guess on this height I could say that I was so sure that I was about to take a leap. I was holding my breath in turns while skimming the pages looking at the illustrations from the elegance of this morning view that melted all the ice particles it could find in my once anxious mind.

I decided to detach myself from all the things they taught you in history books and from the cosmos.  I was gradually letting go.  I started punching the keys, I was as fluid as the running water in the river you could say. I was bedazzled and I was subdued.

Sometimes chaos works and the randomness and the chopsuey of events will just do.

I got a cigarette from my secret stash, my right-hand pocket to be exact. And while lighting it, I am seeing all of space through my smoky morning lenses.  I then readjusted the frames for comfort and a better view as I was holding a book that supposedly teaches you on how to be a master of your own consciousness. But one could only hope.

Beats, I then tossed the book out of the window watching its pages flap, taking its first-ever flight in the open.

The warmth it brought me was incomparable, far better than reading the damn thing.

I was pretty sure and could have sworn that it had taken its time, gliding on its way down.  I think it enjoyed the fall and smiles as it hits the ground.  It was golden I told myself. A scene to be filmed; I regretted not catching the flight on my camcorder.  I guess most treasured moments are.

I then vacuumed my thoughts with nothingness found and then suddenly out of nowhere the light refracts. It bent landing a sudden turn on the watery pavement as it hits. It was changing its direction in a way. And as I found myself lingering in this moment, I relished this peaceful state of time.  As I elbowed the base of this old wooden window frame with my left palm now finding its way resting against my cheek (an opportune place to take its camp, carrying my head’s weight) I was also careful not to be burned by the nicotine stick it held.

As a kid, I believed in happy endings. I guess nowadays we call that Algebra.  Does it always have to be that? Can it be just air guitars and water guns?  When imagination still allows you to live for years in the icy polar caps with only Eskimo kisses to keep you warm. I miss the days when you could still play in the rain without catching flu. When everything was still analog, and saying hello to a friend was still flesh and bones.

“Clickety-clack” my old typewriter used to say.  With my blistered fingertips and the bickering words, they were from the unedited, unbarred thoughts I call home. Mistakes were snow painted, it was very human-like. Messy and yet it was okay. Everybody was fond of cassette tapes and real literature.

I miss those days. I guess time is the greatest thief there is.

The wind blew and my cigarette was almost done.  At last something real had said hello.  I turned to where it came from as I plan to repay this much-appreciated gesture; I thought I heard it whispered something very familiar,

I thought it asked me to come out and play.

“Sure” I said. It needed not to ask.

How can such beauty exist? As he softly pressed each key trying, just trying to paint a small picture of. Trouble was, she can no longer hear it anymore. For she had sailed on a ship light years ago. For the notes were kept hidden and were never put into record. It was of a twisted fate that had dictated it to be so, not to meet those longing eyes anymore. As the boy had looked back and all of these wanderings were done within a thought, counting the stars on the ceiling, on the upper deck, as the curtains swayed, dancing as if it had empathetic feelings for a friend.

I took a hold of his curiosity, of how such a grand and limitless wonder in such a place like this could ever have lingered.  Many pages before a boy in school was looking forward to the summer. Rushing towards the streams of his unrushed dreams, bearing this brand-new feeling of awe as he held for her, daffodils with sunlight he hoped.  The park of his destination was silenced when the church bells struck six. All his chances were hanging loose, but it was a time for a beginning to blossom.

Has he ever played real music before? Has he given it a thought to sit down on the other side of the piano bench just once? Has he ever learned that it is not for the heart of a fool that he must play? Has he learned in time that it is for and only for the cradles of her memory to be laid it all down? Stubborn was he I know, but I confess that I too have not seen it for a very long time. That such a reminder should keep me in. I hope the skies would still endure me anyhow, like the days when the caring rain would still let me brush their words. Long time coming, I am yet to write the saddest tales I know.

His fingers numbed, they were still not of age. He was no more than four and a half feet tall, yet his heart was as immense as the bluest ocean that no bucket can fill. The innocence surreal, only butterflies can peel. As he had found the strength just in time before the sun sets, storytellers they keep on striking the keys for as long as she is around the least. He could never ask for more, she came in her velvet ribbons with buttons, yet he has but an ounce of courage left in him. Draining as she approaches, yet he felt he had so much to give.

I found a small wooden box underneath the case cabinet, it was old.  I found stained pictures but happy ones.  I saw the tire swing that was once tied to a sturdy branch, and I heard the voice of the old ocean calling to me.  It seemed like a postcard you’d get during the holidays. I have seen these before from another lifetime I knew, as I tried to entwine those days with all the colors in me.

All things must end but surely it was not for that boy. He had lived long enough before turning into the man he is right now. And when time had convinced him to finally let go, the milk has gone bad, left on the side table for the wind to waste.

And one couldn’t help but ask, has he written enough love letters to make her stay? Has he remembered to take his old man’s advice to take her climbing trees?  Or bought her ice cream and asked her to take a swim into the ocean perhaps? Has he told her about all the adventures of the imaginative Tom Sawyer and the biting wits of Huck Finn?  Or was he too young to have done it so? Take us back oh father time for one has so much to do, so much to say.

Strike a pose, go ahead and wear your pearly whites clean as I would try to open my mouth and sing.  But why is it that I do not see you singing along? Have you gone tired of me? Instead of hums what creeps in is the frown under the golden crown you call your real man’s hat.

We were sitting on the sidelines once, watching what seemed to be an old marching band approaching towards us as they were playing the tunes of those whom you may call once free.  The funny thing was, their old red parade uniforms did not fit them anymore. Tailored no pockets for possessions and it was not washed either. Yet they brave the stares cast upon them as they make their way towards this dead-end street.  They were the poets of their time.

I turned to you like a child and asked what it was they were singing about. But you said it was nothing of great importance, that I should not pay any attention to.  I guess it pained your feeble heart that you had to throw them the first rock you saw.  I tried to stop you, but you became something else, a giant eggplant. Your head almost exploded.

I go back to the days when we used to write our stories together. Had we told about the meowing dogs, the barking cats and the other animals that learned to talk and rose to save their forest?  About the struggles they had fought for? For the never-ending sunrise that came anyways in the morning. The uncharted deepest sea, to Atlantis, that no man had ever gone to before and the immeasurable ether we used to call faith. I relish the episodes when you used to love your drunken train of thought. I respected you for that.  And when carefree was not yet careless, you always had me each time you slurred. Those reckless words were beautiful in their own light and it was really messy, and it was true, it was our saving grace, we were indestructible we always thought.

“My ghastly September” the red moon has yearned. The barrel of the rifle was left unclean, the blade was stuck stiff to its sheath and sometime during one’s surrender when I had fallen to rest my shield, you snuck out of your shell and had taken off on that magic yellow balloon.  And from up there as you looked down on everyone making your smooth escape, you yelled and called my name to say goodbye.  As I woke and see you through the midnight window pane, I rubbed my eyes in disbelief as you took away my words thinking to yourself that I could never remember to rewrite them on paper. As you leafed through it all, crossing out the lines and then crumpled all the pages, turning them into fuel for your floating vessel for fools.

We are endless you see.

Once in a while, we are all able to wear that strong feeling that everything is alright that nothing in this world could ever take that glorious, invulnerable feeling away from us. A very good friend has once told me that we all have this capacity to turn even the loneliest moment into the most memorable and happiest one. It is sort of turning a piece of paper into linen or silk. A person who is able to do this could live his borrowed life, turning it into his own.  It is as if an opportunity or some kind of invitation that was long forgotten by man. Well, most of us sort of did. Our existence is like the pages we read, a story waiting to be told. The question I guess is how you would want it to be written. I’ve read somewhere in a film script, setting it up as a punch line in a joke that was being thrown to another character, that good writers are those who lie the best.  Maybe, but I guess for those who live in real life, as we all attempt to make our own stories to be soon told by another in our eulogy perhaps, if we are that lucky, that our journey can be defined by those who had the opportunity to walk with us in this very short and humbling existence that was lent by the one hand who created everything.

All of these ramblings perhaps came from oversleeping and too much sugar from cupcakes and chocolates that I had eaten this afternoon I don’t know. But to be able to realize such, may it be scientific or cosmic in nature had made me nonetheless learn that every step that a mere mortal would take has a corresponding end result that would affect another human being. If we are to use and insert the subject of physics in the matter and relate the aforementioned to what one is about to say, that the concept of Newton’s third law of motion is that,  as the textbooks had ever so defined it  – for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.

This was the guiding principle my high school teacher had once insisted us her students to memorize sometime in the 3rdquarter of the senior school year.  I never thought it could be of use outside our classroom and it took me many years to even pay little attention to it. In college, I would then hear it in a group discussion, of drunks, trying so hard to be philosophers in their own bold ways. One quoting a famous figure, a cynic one, who said that dreams are for those who choose to live their lives with eyes closed.  Another would then concur, just to please, but twists the premise and sort of explaining to disagree, “yes, and when us fools dream with our eyes closed, that is because we have got faith”.  Funny, that in the morning, these poor slobs won’t even realize what they have spoken about. They are what I would like to call, the world’s most “humble philosophers”.

And that had struck me thinking to myself that we can pick up these fragments of wisdom in almost everywhere, during whatever circumstance we are into. Most of us would work all our lives to just grasp that higher learning and to just live a better life – based on how we would define it, and we would travel great distances just to discover that what we are looking for is already within us. We would literally kill ourselves by slowly out work our bodies just to taste that free air. A dream to achieve most of us would enjoy in our graves, as soon as we are all forgotten in time.

What is it really we are in search for? Have you ever stopped in the middle of your busy life and asked yourself just that?

Maybe you would probably say that you have got everything figured out, maybe you do, but an invitation still awaits us all to reevaluate.

On this moonless evening, it is like walking with eyes closed. But it does not matter, I have got more than one sense to help me out. I guess the things that refuse to be seen are those that matter the most. Like the air that we breathe, or the softest whisper from a loved one before we rest to sleep, the warmth of a friend’s companionship that can be felt in a degree further within during the cold.  The funny thing is that all of these can also be seen if transformed. In fact, it can be written on a piece of paper or in the sand if one wishes so. So that it can be read and shared in different ways without having to lose its real form. It is like the water bedded in the strongest river, the same as the still when poured in a glass.

I guess we are but each chapter attempting to finish this book we call life.

They say I spend too much time loafing around taking my time in almost every opportunity, sleeping and dreaming my life away. I guess I’m just fond of spending my day typing around a thought. From an inspiring photograph or from a line that I came across from a film or from a split second memory that lasted longer than it should, always trying to make a rendition that would fit into the frames of these realizations, taking my time finishing the first draft just before anyone could ever have the chance to say anything about it, owning those short-lived moments.

I got out of bed, sleepy still but feeling too tired to rest. Hopeful to find warmth outside so I tried to walk off the boredom that stemmed out of nowhere. Perhaps I was a lyric or just an octave short. Something inside was telling me that I was almost there, as I wandered around asking myself what would happen if inertia lost its momentum and soon, I would eventually be out of my pacing especially when procrastination makes it really easy to stop. Ever since way back, I came to live a life having no grand plans, no blueprints, I was never really picky about what went on in both my short and long-term activities. I was never good in any of those. It was never because I chose it to be so, nor going against the current kept me afloat, no, nothing like that at all. The thing was, I did not know what I wanted to do until every time I got to where each was. That is why when the world spins twice as fast, I would always sit in one spot and just take a time out. Probably not a very good option to pattern your life with, but this was where I came to see the things that worked for me.

I remember just before the dawn in the passenger seat while watching the world fly by — as the crescent moon was just about to say goodbye — my head was slumped against the half-opened window as I stared at everything between the light and the dark. I’m not sure if I was really awake or if I was dreaming — I could not tell the difference. The headlights and those red tails in front of us contributed to the abundance of a feeling as they draped the road photo ready. While the wind was messing with my sixty-peso haircut, I simply enjoyed each feeble breath, spending the time being lost in those thoughts in tranquility, frozen in time, while the world was still asleep.

To help relieve my bad leg, sometimes I would tie my shoelaces loose.  I like that light feeling and I complain much less.  It is as if I am being taken back, looking right at her face in a glance of memory, in those few seconds every time the passing headlights from the other side shine right at her.

Those days are like a pop song in my head.

It was like doing a flip-flop. Somewhere within the mid-flip, we realized that the real paycheck was what we had there on our laps. She was right, nothing is ever good enough if you are still alone though. And how we knew it mattered did not pose any significance. We never got that far anyway. Not being ready did not mean I was never up for it. I guess I was just slow, like dripping honey on a jar. Waiting for something is already hard enough, much harder if you had forgotten what it is for.

After the rain, when the wind called out and sent its invitation, we would always stay up late, after hours of cassettes and cigarettes hanging by the open living room door, staring at the seemingly fallen stars on the gutter as they glittered around while the ground was still soaked, thinking to ourselves that the world was clean once more.

I remember the night when she tore a page from her pocket journal that she always hid and carried in her pack, writing a two-liner lyrical dream that she could have sworn to have caught everything that I wanted to say in my lifetime. Then she threw the note in the bathroom sink turning the water blue with a haze of black. “Colors at last” She said.  Well, I didn’t know about that, but the words are flowing now that those days are gone. But we never really cared if it really did, or why the coffee stains on the sheet was there in the first place. She said it was for good luck and so I kept the memory tucked in my chest.

Not the sentimental type but in that silent moment I thought to myself that for as long as we kept our headlights on, we would always smile and drive our way into those tunnels in an exit song just before the credits. As the stories and the metaphors go on, I would sip my way through this aimless journey attempting and taking my time not owing anyone an explanation. Maybe it is just me, but I think, a slow fade is the way to go.

You would probably say and argue that your Mom is the best one in the whole wide world, now if you’d do that, you can bet your armpits I would disagree and brag all the nicest things my mother had done for me, and probably you would do the same and we would be at it the whole day and nobody would ever win. Imagine that.  Not to mention the rest of the world that would want to join us, in this endless contest of whose Mom is the best.  So let us not go there Okay?

Today is Mother’s day, and we would all want to stop and remember that person who carried us in her belly like a kangaroo for 9 months. And I know that you too, do not say as much.  This is an attempt to do just that, an attempt to be able to send the message across, I hope it works.

My Dad passed on when I was 11.

It was right after the summer when he left me and my siblings in the capable hands of my Mom.  She is tough as nails, I remember the day after my Dad left, she spent the entire day crying, but in the next morning, she stopped worrying and started finding ways on how to earn money just like that.

She was never been employed all her life before that dreaded day came. My Dad wanted my Mom to be the traditional housewife, keeping an eye on the kids, making sure that all 5 of us were being watched and taken care of.

We never saw that day coming.

If I were to choose between my Dad and Mom, I would, without hesitation would pick Mom. Please do not get me wrong, I loved my Dad and miss him as much. But I have this personal belief that all children should never be left alone without their mothers and that is non-negotiable.  A mother would always know what to say when her son came back from school crying from a fight, she would even call up the boy’s teacher and raise that concern during the PTA meeting.

A mother would never leave her child, under whatever circumstances through the cold dark night when he is sick, she would, without thinking twice take a leave of absence from work since she would be ridiculously worried all day if she won’t be able to.   I love that about them.

During our ordeal, without any experience or the background, just to make ends meet, my Mom ventured into the “Party Needs” business. She started really small. And what was funny about it was, she never had a business partner or the people to help her.  If there was an event, she would always call me and twin brother out, most of the times when we were busy trying to be romantic teenagers and would ask us to carry 50 to 60 monoblock chairs and 8 to 10 party tables, four to sometimes six blocks away from ours.  To share the humiliation we would always drag our reluctant friends over to help us. I lost count on how many times, but it was quite an experience nonetheless and we would always laugh about it.

What I really liked about it though is the part when my Mom would single-handedly makes the balloons herself. She would be up the whole night just doing that. I remember when the first time it happened when I woke up with all of those colors in the room – it felt like I was in Balloon wonderland or something. She would always make hundreds or sometimes do over a thousand when she got big projects.  Just imagine the kitchen, the stairs, and even our rooms were filled with them, with Mickey Mouse prints on each, some of them helium balloons, some requested on sticks.

Those times were really tough, and good money was very hard to earn, but I must say, waking up in those days, for me it was like living in a playhouse.

My Mom believes in culture, more so in Music. That’s our family mark. In 1996, my Mom bought us our heritage guitar which we shared since we smashed the first two when we were still little. It was a junior sized acoustic from Lilang’s. It was made in Cebu. She knows a good one when she sees it. After that, came the legendary 1984 artist series Ibanez, and the Yamaha electronic keyboard.  She plays both the guitars and the keys and encouraged us to learn. She thought, to keep our sanity together, we needed spirit.

I really admire how she sees life in her perspective. When I rant or complain about something, she always has this way of making me see the good in everything. She’s like a descendant of Mother Teresa, and she never gets tired. She works 6 days a week and every Sunday, as her routine, she would always do the laundry and cook lunch for us. And she only sleeps 5 to 6 hours a day. And it sort of freaks me out at times when I see her do that.

I could only hope to be as wise as she is. I wish I could be as good of a parent as she is to us.  Every day is like a step forward, an attempt. And I have a hundred miles to take. She is as untainted as one could ever aspire to be, the most wonderful person I know. My personal hero.

Another year has passed by, and it’s my birthday once again! boy how time flies, and now, I’m really getting there, getting older.  Looking at some fifteen, twenty years back, I would have been really excited I mean, celebrating your day as a child was just priceless. for those who do not know me, I was born in April, on this date, at exactly 7:48 am. Maybe that’s the reason why I am so fond of mornings. I remember, during our early years, me and my twin brother had always been celebrating our birthdays outside of our home, in our compound, always basking in the summer sun. We would always start the day by waking up really early, racing and hustling down the stairs in our PJs, always expecting for those color-assorted-balloons, party hats, and the noises our childhood friends make, while they play and wait for the party outside.  As the Pabitin (filipino pinata) is being set up, we would always find ourselves on the sidelines, already eyeing for the prizes that were being tied and hung on a grid made of kawayan or bamboo, 2 to 3 hours before the party.  the stuff being tied there were nothing expensive actually, they were just cheap toys, like a couple of 20 buck water guns, a pair of plastic tennis rackets, some plastic toy soldier figures, and repacked sweets like Serg’s bars and Goya gold coins, some several bags of the famous candies back then like the Haw-haw, Tarzan, Bigboy, and the legendary Mik-mik the powdered milk in a sachet that kids really loved.

The Pabitin had always been the highlight of the party. And as each year went by, and when the budget for our kiddie parties had to be cut short, we always made sure that the bamboo wonder stayed, until the day that we were all forced to grow up.

I miss that 30-second bliss. In those moments, when the grid is finally being lowered, we stretch our arms up and reaching, bending our knees for that big attempt, jumping as high as we could. Our hearts stopped every time.

Snaps, and back to the now, no longer a child anymore, I soon realized that this is the first time that I am spending my day slouching in front of my computer, staring on a blank page, counting the number of blinks the cursor is making, waiting for my fingertips to finally decide and spell their first words.

This day really sucks.

While working on this literary project, something nice and familiar suddenly caught my attention. By the way, I am at home inside my room, making the most out of this early morning, while this, very stimulating cooking aroma, from the kitchen downstairs, is inviting me and sort of taking me back to those nostalgic days that I was telling you about. Honestly, I was kind of excited.  I can only imagine what’s in store for me, I do not have any idea what my mom is making, but the smell of the sautéed onions and garlic somehow gives me an idea.

So I hustled downstairs, as I used to do when I was still a kid, now, no longer in my PJs, but in my boxers instead. Of course, not expecting balloons and party hats anymore, my attention now draws from a mindset of a 28-year-old, with an empty and very discerning stomach. My mind shoots in food suggestions basing it on the smell that woke my senses up and shook the boring mood out of me. I was thinking, Roasted chicken, or maybe pasta, My mom’s world-famous Nilagang baka (beef) or her chicken and pork adobo perhaps. The suspense made me more and more excited, I’m young again I said to myself.

But like in the movies, a sudden twist in the story.  To my surprise, when I finally took out the food cover, instead of delight, I saw 3 pieces of hotdogs and some heated sotanghon from last night. the surprise quickly turned into a very funny epic fail situation. haha.

While enjoying the last remaining bites of these tasty treats from my new age Pabitin, and puffing the life out of my cigarette serving as my birthday candle, as every year nourishes me in this solemn seconds of prayer, I am counting the blessings realizing that every day should be a celebration.

And with all the unnecessary ramblings made, from the child in me, I guess all I’m saying is, thanks for shoe-stringing with me.

What makes up a good record? Should it have a good melody? Probably a very good body and lyrical content, should it be timeless? How about the riffs and the arrangement, have we considered the packaging? How should it be marketed? Should it follow the favorable branding colors, maybe strategically pleasing and easy on the eyes? Or during your gigs, should you see the crowd wave matching glow sticks while doing a synchronized rehearsed movements they call dancing?. I guess all of these things are very essential; of course the artists behind these pieces should be able to capture their desired audience. Who does not want that?

Well, if you’d ask me, I prefer a more subtle answer, but before we get to that, let us look at the last decade, hmm, not much to offer, in my taste, probably most of you would disagree, but there were only few who offered quite a good lasting kicks if you may, and on the top of my list are – Beck for sea change 2001, Bright Eyes with his I’m awake, it’s morning in 2005, of course Radiohead having 2 entries, Kid A 2000 and In Rainbows 2007. And most of the songs in these compilations have that very rich blatant honesty right through the bones. There I said it. I guess the real answer is, having that one most important key ingredient, – that it should be effortlessly true. in the old days, before you could say that you have actually written a good one, you have to actually experience what you are singing about if not, you must at least be genuinely inspired. Only a few have successfully able to do this nowadays, and you can actually tell by simply listening. And to know that you have, there is this thing that you call epiphany or that eureka moment that most artists call that can support and help you on realizing. But now, oh boy, it’s all about what pays the bills. Don’t get me wrong, I get that, really. Everyone has to eat right? But to do it for the sole reason of vanity? My premise stems from the fact that, these artists kuno have chosen a career path, a career path? really? It is blasphemous to even mistakenly consider it as one. Please indulge me as I wear the hat of a critic.

So what’s the ranting all about? Well, if you really must know, I am writing this piece as my way of saying sorry to my twin brother who is in a band named Talahib. The band has been around for 10 years. And in those years, I have been always searching for new very good materials to listen to, and without me realizing it then, that one of the members of the future, probably one of the most well-formed Filipino bands is living under the same roof as I am and has the same frigging face.

Me and my twin brother, we have our differences, as kids, he always liked Red one, and I’d be Green two from Bioman, get the idea?. Even back then, he always sported that long hair of his that he still wears now, only way longer. Back then we called it Keempee. I tried to relish the idea of it but I did not get why he wanted it, until now. It came to me that when a person really loves doing something, it will come out of him no matter what. My brother is a Natural I guess.

We have our differences, but we never had that in music. Sure there are some minor preferences here and there, e.g. Content arrangement and his super extended guitar adlibs, but nothing massive.

Now his band, Talahib came out with their debut album – “Mga Awit ng Pag-Ibig at Digmaan” on December 09 2011. And It took them 10 long years to release it. You may think that their time has already passed them by, and was too late for this thing to actually happen, but in my book, judging it from their patience alone will give you this notion on how scary careful and detailed these people are. From every lyrical verse to the right notes and the insertion of each riff, to that inviting groovy, spicy, powerful yet collaborative symphony of beats coming from the drums, and other indigenous percussions, the very compelling voices behind each song. they are, without a doubt, a musical force to be reckoned with.

Talahib – or a tall wild grass that can withstand and adapt to almost any conditions, anywhere for as long as all grass stand together. Their roots are entwined, making all of them, in a sense, one. So as their music, as their listeners embraced it, they define it as a breath of fresh air in the Philippine music industry. As they represent not only the generation’s artists, musicians, and poets, but so as the past and current social cry of the public. They take upon themselves to act, through the most effective medium, through the songs of love and war, aiming straight through our hearts.

But I think, all of these will not be achieved without the listeners, if we decide to just relish and sit around, the equation would be incomplete. Apathy is not it. Reading the leaflets and singing along I guess is not enough. Not to take arms nor to go rally the streets, but to simply believe. Hope if acquired is a very powerful thing. more so if it is amplified through the numbers of its believers. We are amidst changing times, and this revolutionary band is obviously, directly singing this to us. I may be over thinking it, but I think they are throwing the right question back at us, – what should we do then?

The band is composed of 10 members. The Album has 11 tracks. Nearly 20 musical Instruments and it took them 10 years to release it.

All we have to do is 1 thing. Believe.

As I was entering through the revolving door of my wandering mind while watching one of the best shows in the sky with rum-shake, of a grand spectacle free of admission capturing whatever inspiration I may find, attempting to have these sachets of collected interpretations stemming from my very poor and receding memory be translated through a meaning, aiming to say that it is not always about the symmetry in plain view all the time.

Borrowing some rest, away from my lucid habitat made of stacked concrete and plastic decors.  One invites hope for a few offshoot-random encounters which I think are sources of this sudden and periodic influx of Hand Pocket Sunshine.

To get a hold of some I thought to myself, a little wait wouldn’t hurt. So I decided to sit there on the edge of a wooden plank, by the peace of the wind, pondering on my newly found packets of wonders and making friends with time.

Never underestimate the power of eccentricity.

With the right amount of insertion of this odd and unusual behavior, you may find that it is not that bad after all.  It may not always be peaches and lemonades, but to see things from a different view, of life as you know it, well one could say that it is one way to live.  A friend once told me that it is a skill of some sort that does not depend on the conditions of being normal. What is normal anyway?

Every little experience is perspective based.

In the pursuit of clarity amidst the rubble, I remember that it is about finding the good. It is about when to pause and the positioning. It may be difficult to commit to the entire concept of it and it is foolish to rush either, that is why it needs a little reason and isolation on the side.  Recognize that it takes time, the farthest distance one could ever travel I suppose. Respect and let the ingredients simmer and understand that the responses vary.

Mornings will always be there to renew.

Like the lines, we borrow from the parchment pages and poetry, with humility singing for hope, so as sunsets giving way to the next morning. A constant reminder that there is this undying belief that there is always warmth after the long cold night and that everyone should share the same.

I would like to define this argument as – relishing the inevitable. That there will always be this unconditional fondness. That even most of the times it is unspoken, it is what it is. Every day when we connect linking the dots in this unfolded space, whenever we find that perfect color to brush, it is there somewhere between the fine lines and the strokes never fading, always being whispered in its vague and powerful shapeless form.

As I find shelter from phrases and rhymes.

Sleeping for days, the words swirled over, running in circles. Catching my breath then I was caught in that moment and stored the thoughts away. Stolen from a very pleasant forgotten dream, one of the very few things I can say that I can paint a picture of, each time I think of that one early morning in front of my reflection, of a person that once spent his days bending sunlight.

I will miss listening to my nightly anecdotes.

As we attempt to weather blue skies and golden beams, I will always be out strolling with the cool northern breeze enjoying that crystal-like ether from the morning rays on my tanned skin. My chest sways, taking in this easy feeling from a long throw as I go back to that once nightly habit, listening on to the rhymes and storytelling.

I guess we all have our sunsets. Of what could be seemingly an end, may also turn out to be just the dark before the dawn. Do not worry, everything we do it is all half chance.  And as it sets you will see that the shadows and the silhouettes will always be there to cast its play of scenes from real life, portraying how it supposed to be lived.  As we rest our heads in faith, we find surrender in our dreams under the sheets. As we learn to let go, sleeping our lives away, singing that our pockets are not that empty anymore.

Somebody told me that life is an accumulation of experiences. That no matter how short or how long each interaction may last,  may it be with a stranger or with someone you know, no matter how random the encounter is, the sum of it all plus the value of connectivity, these are the fragments that make up the definition.

As this was laid down to me, I realized that it all makes sense come to think of it.  I then conceptualized and applied the very basic method of asking questions and noted down questions like the whys and the hows that make up the experience, etc. Then the study began.

At first, your body may start coughing enzymes of happiness from within. These are complex proteins that produce specific chemical changes in your body. Also, you may not notice it, but your molecules may also start to shake before each encounter. You would then telescope your view and measure the optics. Your vision perceives the stimulus and sends light like signals to your brain, processing it before you can actually see. Please note, However, that what you see and what you perceive stand apart. There is always a distinction. Sight is an acknowledgment of the raw materials that your eyes capture, while perception is about not only how an object looks like or how your mind physically sees it, but how it seems to you, overruling the literal meaning. This is where the different sensations come into the picture.

Towards approaching connectivity, there is also the factor of speech that you must consider.

There are a lot of very intelligent people that do not know how to express themselves even though they have a lot of things to share.  And most of the times during their encounters, there are wasted, lost opportunities for both sides, for the speaker and the listener. The potential of very fruitful exchanges was hindered by unable to say what you really want to express. There should be an abundance intake of oxygen in the body for brain activity and blood flow and it is also imperative to do the necessary preparation and planning. Profiling is another accepted technique that one can consider. The characteristics, the demographics, and the statistics can provide a forecast that one can use during an attempt to land rapport.

With the smart combination of what you have seen and perceived; injecting it in your exchanges finding common ground and the right formula to your conversations may help produce a more favorable response from your subject.

Also, consider gravity. Acknowledge its presence. As it sets a reminder, that your toes must stay where they are supposed to be, as where they are meant to be, on the ground, and as it pulls you down, let your sense of sight soar with the solar beams and sunrays while turning air into poetry and delight.

Then you improvise. Do not be too impulsive though. This may be the very key ingredient of it all, with love songs from shoegazing and a little dash of Britpop, singing sequels and good reviews, from nothingness you would then create a film scene of moving pictures of vivid colors and amusement. Then perhaps you could say that everything is alright. With no grand plans just hope for saving grace and surrender.

With support thoughts of daily dose of afternoon cartoons and letters, you would then cling on to these exchanges for dear life. As our days have always been there to bless us with coffee, sugar and Saturday mornings, we try to earn each fragile moment to take home.

And as we find each morning as an opportunity to turn each cycle and repetitive encounters into a definition, in time, as we get used to the experience, as we wake each morning, we would realize that we never have to mind the cigarette burns and the ash stains, that all the theories and the blah blahs are just there to give frame but not really a component to our interactions. That the real and tangible property is about what lies beneath our skins, the desire that cannot be calculated nor weighed, the acceptance that we are the sum of the life we are all in.

And in the end, we would realize that we never had to complain, but instead, to move forward, all we ever needed was just humor and to display our chubby smiles. Filling ourselves with wisdom not from TV but from real human interactions, taking on the journey as we stride and ocular the skies, relishing the search for that morning slumber. No matter how random, as each interaction translates into happiness connecting the dots, finding out that it is not rocket science after all.