The night clouds form an obscured figure of an Old Persian king in his sleeping clothes, lying on his side in some remote oasis. The wind was faint, but the low temperature of the final season was definitely there. The colorful flicking lights were replaced by the blankets of the drowsy lights from an antique bedroom lampshade and the sidewalk lamp posts outside.
With this discerning conclusion that the night has already passed me by, what remains faithful was the stench of sweat and cigarette smoke on my shirt.
It was getting late so I figured that I retire and went back to the apartment. I double locked the door, rushed into my room, then climbed up on a wooden chair and drew the curtains open to let some of the moonlight in.
My fingers ran through the stacked records in the wooden shelf, breezing through the oxymoron album titles, taking the time to reach for a decision. One of the hardest I should say, to pick the most definitive one.
After giving it some thought, I picked Kath bloom and very carefully I took the vinyl record out of its delicate paper coverings. I bent and ducked plugged the power on, and placed the needle down against its most fragile body on the now rotating turntable.
And there they were; the notes that started to fill every empty, uninhabited space of the room.
And In those moments, I was flying, so it seemed.
As the needle sailed through the waves and the surface of the record, a whispering imposition dawned onto me as if it was a matter of great importance.
“How I wish I’ve got cigarettes right now, or at least one more drink to cap the night.”
But I couldn’t move, maybe I was too lazy to go outside or maybe I was subdued by this undeniable influence of the soundtrack that accompanied me while leaning against the window sill. I was pretty sure, that in those moments, my existence there was legitimized as a lifetime altogether. I lingered, my outlining thoughts stayed on remembering, and then I wondered and dreamt with eyes wide open.
“No need to hurry, everything’s going to be alright…” She then goes singing, never failing to deliver a soothing embrace to my chest every time.
Some thoughts continue to brew, about me mostly, and I felt selfish almost immediately when they insisted to stay. I could not stand this narcissistic reflection on the window pane, and so to my shame, I backpedaled.
And there was no one there really aside from this voice singing to me. I was a serpent lured out of its box, as solitude became a familiar face which encouraged for a renewal, I decided to carry on.
I saw my shadow traveling on the lunar draped concrete pavement, walking away with a small pocket flask, my blue warrens, and an extra pair of suede shoes in my luggage.
The Old Persian king slowly moves across the twilight, his reach expanding, pointing me to the pale half-moon in the sky.
My lips began to pretend blowing cigarette smoke between me and the vast openness.
The smoke traveled in the air after each vertical release, then disintegrates in the light of the lampposts as it lands.
Now in the ambiguous state, away from any lucid reality, I carry on strolling by the placid waters of my inner conversations amidst all the noise and the chaos.
A satellite gracefully placed its uncloaked body in the moonlight. A constellation in the sky forms a broken pinwheel around the glittering islands of the late-night icebergs.
My musings took me sitting on a gutter in front of a convenience store, relishing a hot cup of seafood noodles.
I was a middle-aged ship-builder, resting under a tree after the day’s work. I was a poet, staring at the streams of the waters and the moon that gleams over me. I was a child longing for an adventure with Huck Finn through the endless Mississippi river.
And in the sheets of my brokenness, I wrote the words lent by time. That we are merely the threads of the circumstances weaved. We are entwined by the strings of our allaying fears, shame, and disappointments, which made us the quilt that blankets us against the cold.
While I choose to be the piles of inked 8’11 bond papers placed inside a plastic envelope, the hot soup warms my throat and fills my empty stomach, but my mind yearns for more.
I am famished.