I remember having the conversation of our lives as if it was happening before me. Her pale body now colored by the dim light from the lamp across the room, the shade was just perfect from where she was. Her painted eyes gazing with grace, she had her left arm supporting her head elbowing the cushions. I was sitting on the edge of the bed with leaflets of old cassettes, burning cigarettes and magazines, I had everything there I needed. We were scientists with our bubblegum theories and shooting stars perceptions, the wall clock made no sense- as if the night will never end.
I was aiming my attention looking past the side table through the open window. I was staring outside, but my mind was way off somewhere beneath the experience of lullabies and hums. Not my intention to, but my tired back gave in, the comforts of the sheets and my trusty blanket were overpowering. And as she brushed my hair to sleep, I was sold to the treats of slumber. I was out with the stars over our heads.
Somewhere beneath my dreams, I was being carried. With helium balloons and flying watermelons, I was afloat with the clouds – up into space I glided. I knew that it could only last for so long, but it was cosmic, nonetheless. It felt right, with nothing beneath me, only stardust, tiny heavenly specs of wonders they were. The beams of oranges and samurai blues hazed mixed streaming by the rings and the moons. Funny, that even in my sleep I could still hear her breathing. I knew that she too had fallen to sleep, subdued tenderly by the whispers of the lateness of the night.
Rewinding the episodes, it was summer when it started. The warmth of the season had just begun to settle in. With our drunken smiles, we found ourselves playing through the honey coated fields – it was endless. She had her ways, I had mine, we were incoherent she and I. Learning how to forget about our tomorrows, we wandered aimlessly through our days. It was like we knew where we were heading, without roadmaps nor directions, we braved the crossroads and the highways. We were renegades, with our bandanas and leather jackets, having no expectations in our pockets.
In those days I was looking for the answers but what I end up finding was the soundtrack of my life. A little dose of her in paper kept on striking the keys before the cold with caffeine on my side. I was on my way to my thoughts, to a place where I always go to find her. I went rushing to her doorsteps then a sigh. As I held the words within, about to slide in a letter under her door, having second thoughts, but it was Inevitable. It was bound to happen anyway I figured.
A couple of hours before dawn I turned to my left now facing her, “My love defined” I whispered in her sleep. Our night light flickers, we shared one bed, travelers in different worlds. My love was both inches and miles away from me. Half asleep, somehow, I see her smiling, thinking to myself, what magical dreams she was on. Moments, subconsciously we both hear the speeding cars outside, sleepless in their roars, from yellow over the white lane, recklessly they follow the tail lights before them, the architected paved routes they are on. And as I held her close only to lose her, Jealousy kicked in, as the sandman’s charm creeps in, it was more compared to mine.